Things I am grateful for in my life.

I was raised in a loving home, with two parents who understood the importance of teaching and living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They placed the foundation under my feet that I now stand on as a faithful member of the LDS church.

As I look back on the year 2008, and I recognize the many changes that have affected me personally, I look in awe at the grace of our Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ.

I have struggled with depression for a couple of years, but I didn't do anything for it until May when I reached a breaking point; I realized I couldn't handle the inner sadness anymore. Those closest to me saw the transformation that took place. I became the "Shina" that everyone remembered! Sure, I was always happy and giddy around people, but on the inside I was a raging tornado of emotions and feelings.

For those who suffer from depression, a lot of the healing process has to come from within. You can't rely on the workings of men alone to help you. I realized this early on when I began my treatment through medication. I had to change my thought process comepletely. By doing this I realized why I am here on this earth, why I was placed here at this time, who I am, what I believe in and why things work out the way that they do. It was a glorious day when I realized that I would be OK. The depressive thoughts subsided and I was able to focus, more clearly, on the positive things in my life.

I have found the last year that I have a great love for serving those around me. There is no greater sense of satisfaction than when you can see the look of overwhelming gratefulness on the face of someone you have served. I have had many experiences the last year that have humbled me and reminded me of the true purpose of our existance on this earth.

My faith in my Savior has grown so much this year. I have had two very profound experiences where I have felt completely enveloped in his love.

There was a time that I wandered in the darkness of the world like a lost sheep, enjoying my time spent in the dreary promises of what Satan has to offer. It did not take long for me to realize what I was doing and I quickly did all that I could to run from my sins. The day I got my temple recommend renewed was one of the greatest days of my life! As my bishop signed my recommend he asked me if everything was okay because I had started crying. The only emotion I felt when he asked this question was pure bliss! Knowing that I had come a long way and could once again enter the House of the Lord was all that I needed at that moment. I could feel the love of my Savior and the words, "Well done my daughter" kept ringing in my ears. Words cannot fully explain the joy I felt!

Family issues have been a recent dilema in the Hicks household. While I was on vacation in Minnesota I received some very suprising news that shook my whole frame and tore my heart out from my chest. The tears that streamed down my face burned hot with anger and feelings of betrayal. I have never cried so hard.. or so long in my life. I called my amazing bishop and received words of councel and compassion from him. He told me to request a priesthood blessing from a worthy male that I was staying with. I did just that, from a complete stranger... but the priesthood is the same everywhere. Although the man who blessed me had no idea what my situation was, the Spirit directed him in saying all of the right things. My heart burned like fire as soon as the blessing was over... I felt arms encircle me... my tears stopped and I felt the comfort of my Savior holding me. Once again, words cannot explain how I felt.

If it had not been for my parents and the lessons they taught me at an early age, I would not be where I am today. If it was not for my Father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Ghost, I would still be a wandering sheep... lost in the world, dwelling on the sad things in life, wallowing in my sin and feeling sad about my current family situation.

I love those individuals who have changed me. I love the strength that I have found in myself to prevail and overcome hard things.

Like Sister Dalton said on the Oct 2008 Conference:

I can do hard things, but in the strength of the Lord, I can do ALL things!

My life has taken some very interesting twists and turns recently that have left me dumbfounded and a little surprised! I have been preparing to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. When I got my confirmation that, that was what I needed to do I became very excited to serve the Lord! I met with my bishop and then with my stake president and I started my mission papers all in the time frame of two-in-a-half weeks. I know that when we are following the promptings of the spirit things seem to work out. I attended my first Mission Prep course and I know that at this time in my life I am supposed to be preparing to serve the Lord.
I was re-united recently with a very good friend who has changed me. There are parts of me that have been hurt and knocked around in the past; I was beginning to think that I would never be able to recover because of the way I felt inside about myself and how I looked at others. The pre-conceived notions that I had about marriage and dating have been changed. My life has been greatly blessed because of who this friend is and who he represents.
David Owen and I met Fall 2006 while serving in leadership positions at Weber State University through our shared scholarship, WildCat Scholars. It had been two years since Dave and I talked when he bumped into me at the Weber State Institute Halloween Dance this October. The next day, he sent me a message on Facebook … and the rest is history.
Our first date comprised of us becoming members of the Polar Bear Club- We jumped into Pine View at 8:00 PM when the water was FrEeZiNg!-, we went to my apartment and colored in my Ninja Turtle Coloring book and then watched Flyboys. Our date started at 7 and didn’t end until 3AM because we were talking. In all my years of dating, I have never had a first date that went as smoothly as this one! I think that because we were friends before it was very easy to be myself and not feel like I had to put on a show. The conversation was good, the company was excellent and things went really well!
I have had an internal struggle raging inside of me since Dave walked back into my life. I have found myself falling very hard for him and the manner and pace in which things are going surprises me. I thought I was done giving guys a chance. My ability to trust was depleted and I told myself I would never let my feelings show for another individual… that has changed drastically. My plans for a mission have not changed. I am still pressing forward with that goal in mind, but I know that chances are my mission will be to marry Dave and start a family with him.
Dave leaves for Basic Training in Texas on November 24th. He is going into the Air National Guard and will graduate from tech school April 13th. He and I have decided to see what happens in April when he returns. If things are still great and we still feel good about things, we will begin the preparations to enter the temple together. I cannot tell you the feelings of elation and excitement this brings me. I have struggled in the past with finding guys who share my sense of humor, thought processes, ideas and goals. It is crazy how many times I have been explaining something to Dave and he totally knows what I am talking about. Usually people look at me like I am crazy when I say certain things… I love that I can talk to him and not have to explain everything to him!!
I love that I am myself when I am with him. I love spending time with him and getting to know him better. I love the strength he has within himself to prevail and stand up for what he believes in and does what he knows is right. He has a strong testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and knows the power of the Atonement. He has goals and is very ambitious in making sure those are accomplished. He is very respectful and knows his boundaries, as do I. We know what we need to do to get us where we want to someday be. We don’t want to mess that up for each other.
Life is very good. I can feel the promptings of the Spirit in my life. I know that things will work out how they are supposed to. I look forward to my future with enthusiasm and excitement!!