Things I am grateful for in my life.

I was raised in a loving home, with two parents who understood the importance of teaching and living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They placed the foundation under my feet that I now stand on as a faithful member of the LDS church.

As I look back on the year 2008, and I recognize the many changes that have affected me personally, I look in awe at the grace of our Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ.

I have struggled with depression for a couple of years, but I didn't do anything for it until May when I reached a breaking point; I realized I couldn't handle the inner sadness anymore. Those closest to me saw the transformation that took place. I became the "Shina" that everyone remembered! Sure, I was always happy and giddy around people, but on the inside I was a raging tornado of emotions and feelings.

For those who suffer from depression, a lot of the healing process has to come from within. You can't rely on the workings of men alone to help you. I realized this early on when I began my treatment through medication. I had to change my thought process comepletely. By doing this I realized why I am here on this earth, why I was placed here at this time, who I am, what I believe in and why things work out the way that they do. It was a glorious day when I realized that I would be OK. The depressive thoughts subsided and I was able to focus, more clearly, on the positive things in my life.

I have found the last year that I have a great love for serving those around me. There is no greater sense of satisfaction than when you can see the look of overwhelming gratefulness on the face of someone you have served. I have had many experiences the last year that have humbled me and reminded me of the true purpose of our existance on this earth.

My faith in my Savior has grown so much this year. I have had two very profound experiences where I have felt completely enveloped in his love.

There was a time that I wandered in the darkness of the world like a lost sheep, enjoying my time spent in the dreary promises of what Satan has to offer. It did not take long for me to realize what I was doing and I quickly did all that I could to run from my sins. The day I got my temple recommend renewed was one of the greatest days of my life! As my bishop signed my recommend he asked me if everything was okay because I had started crying. The only emotion I felt when he asked this question was pure bliss! Knowing that I had come a long way and could once again enter the House of the Lord was all that I needed at that moment. I could feel the love of my Savior and the words, "Well done my daughter" kept ringing in my ears. Words cannot fully explain the joy I felt!

Family issues have been a recent dilema in the Hicks household. While I was on vacation in Minnesota I received some very suprising news that shook my whole frame and tore my heart out from my chest. The tears that streamed down my face burned hot with anger and feelings of betrayal. I have never cried so hard.. or so long in my life. I called my amazing bishop and received words of councel and compassion from him. He told me to request a priesthood blessing from a worthy male that I was staying with. I did just that, from a complete stranger... but the priesthood is the same everywhere. Although the man who blessed me had no idea what my situation was, the Spirit directed him in saying all of the right things. My heart burned like fire as soon as the blessing was over... I felt arms encircle me... my tears stopped and I felt the comfort of my Savior holding me. Once again, words cannot explain how I felt.

If it had not been for my parents and the lessons they taught me at an early age, I would not be where I am today. If it was not for my Father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Ghost, I would still be a wandering sheep... lost in the world, dwelling on the sad things in life, wallowing in my sin and feeling sad about my current family situation.

I love those individuals who have changed me. I love the strength that I have found in myself to prevail and overcome hard things.

Like Sister Dalton said on the Oct 2008 Conference:

I can do hard things, but in the strength of the Lord, I can do ALL things!