Friday, September 18, 2009

Oh, that's how that thing works?!

I have not written on here in a long time. I just want to start off by expressing my thanks to my Father in Heaven for his ability to test me, and then show me the importance of my trials.

My parents divorce was final the day before Dave and I were sealed for time and all Eternity in the Bountiful LDS Temple. I know my wedding day was hard for my mom, but she is a trooper and she played along to the best of her abilities. Dave and I have learned a lot from watching my parents over the last year. It is hard to pin point the time in a marriage when things "start to fall apart". It is defiantly not easy on everyone when someone decides, "they are done". I am not writing this to hurt any one's feelings, but to bring up the importance of communication in a marriage. Once the communication is gone, everything else falls apart. Dave and I have made some very important goals that we are promising each other to abide by through out our eternal marriage.
*The first began on January 25th, 2009 when Dave proposed to me in front of the San Antonio, Texas LDS temple. Not only were we starting things out right by going to the temple, but Dave chose my ring because of the value and reminder my ring has for us. It not only represents the eternal round that our marriage will have, but and the importance of always keeping the communication between Heavenly Father, Dave and I open. You cannot have a successful marriage when one of these three individuals is not an active member in the triangle.
* Dave and I have been striving very hard to have morning and evening couples prayer together. I cannot express the love I have for Dave when he is praying. He has the ability to express his inner most concerns for others and me in the most sensitive way.
*Dave and I made a goal when we were engaged to go to the temple often. We have continued this goal in our marriage. It has been one of the most rewarding things ever! We can defiantly tell when it has been too long since our last visit. Not only are we serving those who could not do the work for themselves while here on the earth, but we are able to spend some very spiritual and personal quality time with each other and our Father in Heaven. Our "Temple Date Nights" are my favorite date nights.
* Every marriage needs encouragement. Dave and I have many things going on in our busy schedules and we don't always get to see each other. When our schedules do collide we are able to catch each other up on what is going on and most important- encourage one another in the goals and ambitions that we each have. Dave is currently in school and also working and I am working full time and trying to keep up with Dave. He is extremely busy and sometimes needs a word of encouragement. I love being the one to give it to him. Those sweet reminders help the love in a marriage grow. He is always there for me when I need a minute to cry on his shoulder because I dropped an egg on the floor or an amazing smelling dinner turns out to just be an amazing smelling dinner.
* Scripture reading is a huge bonus in a marriage. Our Father in Heaven has given us so many tools to straighten marriages. If only people would read, ponder and listen- there would not be any marriages that crumble because of hurt feelings, selfishness, etc.
* The last goal that I have personally implemented in our marriage is; Never say anything which you don't mean, but you say in anger or annoyance. Last month Dave and I were at a family reunion in Morgan. Everyone was having a great time playing and chatting with each other. After dinner on our last night there, Dave and my brother decided to float down the river. They didn't have any way to float down other than life jackets. Dave wanted to test the waters at an area where there was a seemingly small waterfall. To make a long story short; Dave was carried under the current and down falling water; he almost drowned. The most terrifying part of it all is, I witnessed everything and thought my husband was dying. Each time he came up and then disappeared, I thought I had lost him. The feelings of hope and safety were shattered by water. My youngest brother was trying frantically to extend a walking stick to Dave, which my grandpa had thrown into the water to help them. My uncle was holding onto my brother and together they were trying as hard as they could to reach Dave. I know our Father in Heaven was watching over David because the last time he went down something pushed him to the center of the water fall and he was able to float away from the area he was in and walk out- with the help of my uncle.

Marriage is not a topic I take lightly. When you face a loved one leaving for whatever reason you find yourself doing everything in your power to keep that unit together. If you think about it- We each make choices everyday. Some move us forward, toward the goals we have and others pull us down to levels that we cannot even comprehend. In the end: we all have our agency.
From the example of my parents I have been able to reflect on my marriage and how I want it to be now and in the future. I love both of my parents and I accept the result of their decisions. I cannot spend time dwelling on their choices; therefore, I have to move forward with my own. I feel I am on the right path.


Jeff Hicks said...

Shina, you have a wonderful, intuitive, pure, and heart-felt view of your surroundings. We can learn a great deal from others' mistakes as we view those from our own unique perspective - if for no other reason than to understand what NOT to do in our own circumstances.

I am so happy you and Dave recognize important values that will bind you as you live your lives together forever.

Thanks for sharing...

Tiff said...

Shina, I am continually impressed by your strength and testimony. I remember the first time I heard your bear your testimony in sacrament meeting and I knew that I wanted to be friends with you in hopes that some of your strength and faith would rub off on me. I love you! I can empathize with some of the ordeals you have gone through. I am glad we have been able to be there for each as we have undergone some spiritual refinement. I know that as you and Dave continue to live the goals you have set you will always be close. I know that our Father in Heaven loves you and He is so proud of you for the choices you have made and continue to make every day. I love you like a sister...because we truly our sisters through God! Luv & Hugs!!!