99 Things

Highlight the things that you have done!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo-- in my car- does that count?
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant...
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class-- KICKBOXING
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating?- my dad has and I watched...
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life-- im sure we all have and don't even know it
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person-- I will next month!
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Things I am grateful for in my life.

I was raised in a loving home, with two parents who understood the importance of teaching and living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They placed the foundation under my feet that I now stand on as a faithful member of the LDS church.

As I look back on the year 2008, and I recognize the many changes that have affected me personally, I look in awe at the grace of our Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ.

I have struggled with depression for a couple of years, but I didn't do anything for it until May when I reached a breaking point; I realized I couldn't handle the inner sadness anymore. Those closest to me saw the transformation that took place. I became the "Shina" that everyone remembered! Sure, I was always happy and giddy around people, but on the inside I was a raging tornado of emotions and feelings.

For those who suffer from depression, a lot of the healing process has to come from within. You can't rely on the workings of men alone to help you. I realized this early on when I began my treatment through medication. I had to change my thought process comepletely. By doing this I realized why I am here on this earth, why I was placed here at this time, who I am, what I believe in and why things work out the way that they do. It was a glorious day when I realized that I would be OK. The depressive thoughts subsided and I was able to focus, more clearly, on the positive things in my life.

I have found the last year that I have a great love for serving those around me. There is no greater sense of satisfaction than when you can see the look of overwhelming gratefulness on the face of someone you have served. I have had many experiences the last year that have humbled me and reminded me of the true purpose of our existance on this earth.

My faith in my Savior has grown so much this year. I have had two very profound experiences where I have felt completely enveloped in his love.

There was a time that I wandered in the darkness of the world like a lost sheep, enjoying my time spent in the dreary promises of what Satan has to offer. It did not take long for me to realize what I was doing and I quickly did all that I could to run from my sins. The day I got my temple recommend renewed was one of the greatest days of my life! As my bishop signed my recommend he asked me if everything was okay because I had started crying. The only emotion I felt when he asked this question was pure bliss! Knowing that I had come a long way and could once again enter the House of the Lord was all that I needed at that moment. I could feel the love of my Savior and the words, "Well done my daughter" kept ringing in my ears. Words cannot fully explain the joy I felt!

Family issues have been a recent dilema in the Hicks household. While I was on vacation in Minnesota I received some very suprising news that shook my whole frame and tore my heart out from my chest. The tears that streamed down my face burned hot with anger and feelings of betrayal. I have never cried so hard.. or so long in my life. I called my amazing bishop and received words of councel and compassion from him. He told me to request a priesthood blessing from a worthy male that I was staying with. I did just that, from a complete stranger... but the priesthood is the same everywhere. Although the man who blessed me had no idea what my situation was, the Spirit directed him in saying all of the right things. My heart burned like fire as soon as the blessing was over... I felt arms encircle me... my tears stopped and I felt the comfort of my Savior holding me. Once again, words cannot explain how I felt.

If it had not been for my parents and the lessons they taught me at an early age, I would not be where I am today. If it was not for my Father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Ghost, I would still be a wandering sheep... lost in the world, dwelling on the sad things in life, wallowing in my sin and feeling sad about my current family situation.

I love those individuals who have changed me. I love the strength that I have found in myself to prevail and overcome hard things.

Like Sister Dalton said on the Oct 2008 Conference:

I can do hard things, but in the strength of the Lord, I can do ALL things!

My life has taken some very interesting twists and turns recently that have left me dumbfounded and a little surprised! I have been preparing to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. When I got my confirmation that, that was what I needed to do I became very excited to serve the Lord! I met with my bishop and then with my stake president and I started my mission papers all in the time frame of two-in-a-half weeks. I know that when we are following the promptings of the spirit things seem to work out. I attended my first Mission Prep course and I know that at this time in my life I am supposed to be preparing to serve the Lord.
I was re-united recently with a very good friend who has changed me. There are parts of me that have been hurt and knocked around in the past; I was beginning to think that I would never be able to recover because of the way I felt inside about myself and how I looked at others. The pre-conceived notions that I had about marriage and dating have been changed. My life has been greatly blessed because of who this friend is and who he represents.
David Owen and I met Fall 2006 while serving in leadership positions at Weber State University through our shared scholarship, WildCat Scholars. It had been two years since Dave and I talked when he bumped into me at the Weber State Institute Halloween Dance this October. The next day, he sent me a message on Facebook … and the rest is history.
Our first date comprised of us becoming members of the Polar Bear Club- We jumped into Pine View at 8:00 PM when the water was FrEeZiNg!-, we went to my apartment and colored in my Ninja Turtle Coloring book and then watched Flyboys. Our date started at 7 and didn’t end until 3AM because we were talking. In all my years of dating, I have never had a first date that went as smoothly as this one! I think that because we were friends before it was very easy to be myself and not feel like I had to put on a show. The conversation was good, the company was excellent and things went really well!
I have had an internal struggle raging inside of me since Dave walked back into my life. I have found myself falling very hard for him and the manner and pace in which things are going surprises me. I thought I was done giving guys a chance. My ability to trust was depleted and I told myself I would never let my feelings show for another individual… that has changed drastically. My plans for a mission have not changed. I am still pressing forward with that goal in mind, but I know that chances are my mission will be to marry Dave and start a family with him.
Dave leaves for Basic Training in Texas on November 24th. He is going into the Air National Guard and will graduate from tech school April 13th. He and I have decided to see what happens in April when he returns. If things are still great and we still feel good about things, we will begin the preparations to enter the temple together. I cannot tell you the feelings of elation and excitement this brings me. I have struggled in the past with finding guys who share my sense of humor, thought processes, ideas and goals. It is crazy how many times I have been explaining something to Dave and he totally knows what I am talking about. Usually people look at me like I am crazy when I say certain things… I love that I can talk to him and not have to explain everything to him!!
I love that I am myself when I am with him. I love spending time with him and getting to know him better. I love the strength he has within himself to prevail and stand up for what he believes in and does what he knows is right. He has a strong testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and knows the power of the Atonement. He has goals and is very ambitious in making sure those are accomplished. He is very respectful and knows his boundaries, as do I. We know what we need to do to get us where we want to someday be. We don’t want to mess that up for each other.
Life is very good. I can feel the promptings of the Spirit in my life. I know that things will work out how they are supposed to. I look forward to my future with enthusiasm and excitement!!

Flowers are amazing!!!

I love photography and I would love to say that I an amazing photographer, but Im not. I am quite proud of this picture though! This is in Deluth, Minnesota.

I may have a lot of really heavy, trying things going on in my life right now, but I am SO blessed!!! I cannot even begin to explain the week I have had!!

Prayer is such an important part of my life! I am so grateful for my Father in Heaven who listens to the inner cryings of my heart. He knows me better than I know myself. I know that he has a plan for me and is preparing me for amazing things!

I have received an answer to a very personal matter that I have pondered on a lot lately-- I am so extatic about the decisions I have made to get me to where I am at currently in my life! I have so much to thank my Father in Heaven for!!

My life is changing

I have not written on here in quite a while! Everything in my life is changing. It seems like my world never stops going and things never stop progressing forward/falling backwards. There are so many thoughts that run through my head everyday and I find myself worrying about things that never would have bothered me a year ago. Here's a list of the thoughts that have crossed my mind in the three hours I have been awake today.

School:
- Only one more class to take and then I will have my associates degree!
- Is business management really something that I want to get into?
- Why did I decide to take environment appreciation?? It is so frustrating sometimes!
- As soon as I get off work today i need to study my history timeline for environment so that I can pass my exam tonight.
- Did I buy enough bubble sheets for my exams yesterday?
- Am I going to get a ticket for parking in the W parking lot at 4:30?

Peronal Life:
- Am I "overly" social?
- Do people look at me and think, "She is so annoying!"?
- Am I doing everything possible to fulfill the requirements of my job/calling/education?
- Am I going to be a good mom?
- I feel like my enthusiasm to get jobs accomplished is dwindling.
- I want to go home after school tonight and crash-- I know it won't happen though.

Dating:
- I hate the games SO much, but I love going out, flirting and having fun!
- I have dated so many guys and talked about marriage with two of them... neither of them worked out- which is a blessing because in both cases we wanted totally different things! I can't wait till the right guy comes along and shares my same ideas, goals, aspiriations, religious beliefs, etc...
- I know what qualities I want my future husband to have, but are they realistic qualities?
- My worst fear is marrying a man who doesn't honor his priesthood and EVERYTHING that is involved with that.

Family:
- How are things going to work out....?
- What can I do for Vince to help him out?
- I don't like going to my parents because the awkward tension that is ALWAYS present-- does that make me a bad daughter?
- I miss my brothers and puppy
- My heart breaks everytime I talk to my mom and she is hurting
- Does eternity not mean anything anymore to some people!!!?

Friends:
- I really can get along with girls!
- I LOVE spending time with my boys- they make me laugh SO hard! I have no idea where I would be without them
- My older brother ROCKS- he is SOSOSOSO amazing and has never let me down!!

My life is so complex. Thankfully, I have science helping me keep my sanity! I have a very good life and I have so much to be thankful for!

My close call with fainting at work

I work in a doctors office where the providers perform minor procedures such as wart removals and wound checks. One of the girls that I work with has diabetes and got an infection in her pinkie finger when she got a manicure a few months ago. The infection was starting to turn her finger yellow and green and the doctor that I work for told her that she might have to have her whole pinkie finger amputated.

She went into the surgeon yesterday and had her nail removed along with the infection around her nail. The surgeon ended up removing infection down to the bone.

In order to keep infection from returning, causing a chance of having the finger amputated all together, she has to have it cleaned really well twice a day.

One of our Medical Assistance volunteered to do it today. Me, having the morbid curiosity that I do, asked if I would watch our MA do it.

**Spring of '07 I took a criminal justice class at Weber State. Our professor, Kelly Sparks, gave a project to learn first hand how the criminal justice system works. My mom drove Ambulance for 10 years for Davis County so she is really good friends with a lot of cops and paramedics. I went on a ride along with one of her friends, who is a paramedic, and we got a call to respond to a rollover on I-15. When we responded to this call there was blood everywhere and the girl who's car was on it's side, and who had caused the accident, had her wrist bone poking out of her skin and many cuts and gashes everywhere. I had no problem handling that and thought it was awesome... I know I'm weird**

Anyways, Kari, our MA, took off Christina's bandages and revealed a odd looking pinkie finger. The nail was missing and all I saw was a dark pit of bloody tissue and bone. It was pretty awesome! I was doing fabulously and was way into watching Kari clean it out... that is until the smell of blood and Iodine trailed up my nostrils. I felt my body go weak, my head go fuzzy, my vision blur and my legs shake. I was very grateful for the bench behind me because I sat right down in it. I continued watching Kari gently clean the wound, but my thoughts kept getting fuzzier. I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up...

Kari finished cleaning the wound and then wrapped it back up. I felt the wave of nausea slowly pass after lying down on the bench for a minute, but was able to get back to work soon after.

I thought it was odd that I was able to see bone poking out of some drunk girls wrist, but could not handle watching my co-workers finger get cleaned.

I have decided though that if I am going to continue working in the medical field I need to build up "immunities" to those kinds of things.... so later, when Kari cleans the wound out again... I'm going to watch!

The Wo's of becoming an adult... and paying for a car

As a Christmas present to myself my senior year of high school I bought myself a car. I had been driving an old white Subaru beater that had an annoying click every time I made a turn, and I decided it was time to upgrade. My grandpa told me about a Gold, Toyota Camry that he had been eyeing at my uncle's dealership in Tremonton. I was desperate and jumped on the opportunity. Without hesitation or a second thought I went to the bank and took out a loan for my first car!

My parents and I drove up to the Murdock Chevrolet in Tremonton and met with my Uncle Cort. We signed all the papers and ventured outside to see my new car.

Bert, was the most handsome Champagne colored '93 Toyota Camry I had ever seen! I fell in love with him at first sight!

Since my big purchase I have spent a little over $4,500 for the loan itself, about $1,500 in repairs and probably more than $1,500 in gas. My good news is: I PAID BERT OFF and it only took me about two in a half years!

I cannot explain my excitement and happiness over getting a debt paid off! Since June 20th, when the final $215 was paid, I have been so ecstatic with the knowledge that through my perseverance and hard work I now have something that is my own- that I worked hard for!

I paid my car off on a Friday and the next day I was blessed with the opportunity of finding an apartment with one of my really good friends! I had been stressing with the idea of getting my car paid off, moving out and having enough money to do it all, but I did, and it was a month ahead of schedule!

It is amazing how Heavenly Father works! He has a way of teaching us very valuable lessons without us even realizing it at the time. I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned, the opportunities I have had, and the people that have helped me in my life to get me to where I am today.

I know that I would not have been able to pay that debt off if I had not been paying my tithing and praying for guidance and help. Gosh! I love my life and my Father in Heaven!!

Cameron and I

Northridge High School Class of 2006

My Buddy Cam

So this is my first blog and I have been thinking of what to write on my first posting since I created my space two days ago. I finally had an inspiring though when my best friend called me from California today-- I decided to write about him!

The background:

My senior year of high school I went through a transitioning stage where I switched my group of friends. It was a very hard time in my sheltered little life, but I soon had my eyes opened to other people and new ideas on life.

I became very close friends with a guy named Cameron who was in this "new group" of friends. I became the #1 fan for his band, The Switches, and I traveled to a lot of shows with him and the rest of his band mates. Cam and I started dating after our Sweethearts dance that year. We did everything together it seemed! Life was fantastic and neither one of us had a care in the world for the future, but when the fall came we knew our fairy tale relationship would have to end.

We broke our relationship off right before he moved away to attend Utah State. We were both heart broken, but we knew that the distance would be a strain for both of us, and the chance of us continuing our relationship with different religious views set a damper on any thoughts of us spending our lives together.

Our first semester of college was hard. He went his way and I went mine. When we saw each other it was hard not to hold one another and pretend that we had never broken things off. This on again, off again relationship continued for a year in a half. Neither one of us new how to cut the ties because we loved each other so much.

Cam and I finally figured out what directions we wanted to take, and they did not include going with each other. We vowed to be the best of friends, as long as it was physically, mentally and emotionally possible, We promised to always be there when the other needed a shoulder to cry on or a hug from a friend.

Since that time Cam and I have been the best of friends. We still love each other dearly, but know what what is best for the other is not to be together. Cameron has been the best friend a girl could have the last three years! He has been my sounding board with big decisions I have had to make and that is the reason I am writing this blog...

This week:

Cameron moved to California on Monday to do an internship with Sequoia National Park.

* I was ready for him to go because I knew the summer would be an excellent way for him to figure some things out for himself, and to get an idea of what he wants for his future.

* I was ready to spread my wings, and meet new people, and have a great time with my friends. I knew that I would be moved out, on my own, in July or August and I'm excited to try something different and make some decision on my own.

I found out this week that one of my friends definatly wants to move out, so we activly started looking at apartments to move into asap. When I had origionally started looking for a place to live I had Cam to back me up and encourage me to look and find a place. He was my rock and I really looked forward to his advice because it always made sense and calmed me down!

This Tuesday I had a break down. I was looking at places for rent in S. Ogden and I was thinking to myself, "Oh I wonder what Cam would say about that place?.. Oh he would totally love the fact that there is a street light right there! etc..."

Once I realized that there was no way I would be able to hear Cams advice and encouragement a HUGE lul came over me and I got extremely depressed. I realized that there was no way of getting a hold of him because he was somewhere in the middle of a Forest in California! I went home feeling super sad and lonely!

I called my mom, who was at work, and as soon as she said, "Hi Sheen!" I started bawling! I told her my thoughts and feelings and how I was missing Cam and how I felt lonely and sad because he wasn't around to talk to and get ideas from. She said that she was sorry and that she felt bad. She told me to write my thoughts and feelings and questions down in a "Cam journal" so that I could keep track of them, and eventually talk to him about them. I agreed to do that, said good night and cried myself to sleep.

Today:

I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize, here is the conversation:

Me- "Hello?"
?- "Hi, how are you doing?" (Man's voice)
Me- "Good, how are you?"
?- "Doing good... Do you know who this is?"
Me- "No, Who is this?" (Confused, but cheerful way)
?- "Guess."
Me- "I don't know.." (Really confused)
?- --Giggle-- (Sounded exactly like Cam, I almost jumped!)
Me- "Cameron!?!!!" (Kind of worried that if it wasn't my excitement would scare this mystery person)
?- "Hu?"
Me- "Cam????"
?- --Giggle--
Me- "CAMERON IS THAT YOU?"
?- "Yeah it is."
Me- (bawling)

I was so happy to talk to him and catch up, even though it had only been a week since we talked last.

He is such a great guy and I am so greatful for him and his example and friendship!

I wish everyone had a best friend like him!